Choose the best of the bad!

Crazy, funny, and sometimes just gross – here are our top ten examples of bad English, sent in by Spot on readers. You can vote for you favourite – and get a chance to win great prizes – by filling out the form at the bottom of the page! Click on the pictures to make them bigger.

1. "Fresh varied attacked vegetable"  Maximilian Schuster, from 83115 Neubeuern

Maximillian took this photo while he was on holiday at the Fuerteventura Princess Hotel. Max, we hope the food was still edible after it had been attacked!

Sophie photographed this sign at a takeaway joint in Mannheim, where you may have to play a game of chess before you can eat your cheeseburger.

3. "Food massage" Gilbert Braun, from 20249 Hamburg

The service at The Charles Hotel in Munich is so good that even your food gets a massage! Of course, you shouldn't eat with your fingers - and the hotel's brochure should say, "foot massage". Well spotted, Gilbert.

4. "Beer on tape"

Gerti Homeier, from 26789 Leer

How do you like the sound of a cold beer? If you don't know what beer sounds like, go to this pub in Prague. The sign says they've got beer on tape, but it should say "beer on tap"!

5. "Happy our" Iris Kühne, from CH-8623 Wetzikon

Something at the restaurant Havanna in Wetzikon, in Switzerland, is happy. Unfortunately, they don't tell us what it is exactly. Could it be our happy guests? Our staff? Or just "happy hour"?

6. "Barbecure"

Mascha Neumann, from 37085 Göttingen

This restaurant in Göttingen, called Dynastie, is on a mission! Mascha says, "We need to cure Barbie, she seems much too thin to be healthy. Poor Ken!" Well spotted, Mascha. We hope you enjoyed the barbecue!

7. "To sandy feet"

Rebecca Dasen, from Switzerland

Rebecca found this sign at a campsite called "Claudine", in the south of France. "We really didn't know what do with our feet after reading this," writes Rebecca. And as far as correcting the English is concerned, we don't really know where to start.

8. "During the conception" Anna Seidel, from 90480 Nuremberg

Just what was the Blue Man Group planning to do at the Theater am Potsdamer Platz? Perhaps it's better that we don't know! The word "conception" means Empfängnis. A better word would have been "performance".

9. "For costumers only"

Daniel Klein, from A-8073 Graz

This is a very exclusive restaurant in Austria - it seems you have to dress up in a costume just to be allowed in the car park. That is unless the sign should say, "For customers only". So what do you dress up as, Daniel?

10. "Don't loose my friend"Johanna Hermann, from 10961 Berlin

It's much better to be close friends than loose friends! The same goes for your socks! On this pair of socks, which Johanna bought from H&M, the message should be, "Don't lose my friend."

 Vote by filling out the form below by 6 October. If you want to win the language trip to Malta, don't forget to give us your telephone number, too! Winners will be contacted in mid-October, announced in Spot on in December and right here from 23 November.