A newbie's guide to London for when things go wrong

The new year got off to a great start for me – with a fantastic trip to London, where I had never been before. As a London newbie, I thought that it would be easy enough to travel there, and then I'd have to learn how to get around the city. Maybe I'd get lost, or end up on the wrong bus or tube.

But no – getting around London was easy. I had a fantastic time! We didn't get lost once. No, the problems came from actually trying to get to London, and then to leave again. Things happened that I would never have expected. Here are some of the things I learned. 

• Gettting into the country: You will wait in a queue. If you're reading this, you're probably a citizen of a European country, and the queue will move more quickly. If you're like me, and have a passport from a non-EU country, it's probably going to take a while.
• The tube at night: It closes earlier than you think it would. In fact, it'll probably close right in front of you when you're getting off the delayed express train from Stanstead Airport. And this brings us to ...
• Getting a cab: If you want to get a cab from a train station just after the tube has closed, guess what? You will wait in a queue.

So, that was the trip into the country, not mentioning the cancelled flights, rebooked flights and other delays. Things were great for the next two days, until suddenly it was Sunday, time to pack our bags, and get back to the airport. And this is where the fun starts again.

• The Tube at the weekend: London is hosting the 2012 Olympic Games. That means they're scrambling to get the tube ready for all those people. To do this, parts of the tube are closed at the weekend. And this useful fact brings us to ...
  
• Victoria Station: The express train to Gatwick Airport leaves from Victoria Station. Normally, three tube lines go to Victoria Station. You would expect that even with some tube lines closed at the weekend, no one would be silly enough to close down all three lines that service a major train station at the same time. You are wrong.
  
• Your luggage and the bus: With no tube service to Victoria, your next logical step is to find a bus to take you there. Good news: There are still buses going there. Bad news: if the bus driver doesn't want you to bring your small suitcase on his bus, he won't go anywhere until you get off his bus. Get a cab!
  
• The Big Freeze and flying: Good job, you've made it to the airport! Your flight is even boarding on time. But just wait a minute. It's winter and your plane won't take off until the wings have been sprayed with a de-icing chemical. That's a good thing. Not a good thing: sitting on the plane, waiting so long for the de-icer to come that your destination airport closes before you get a chance to take off. Flight cancelled. Better luck tomorrow!